Thursday, 15 May 2014

Twisted Cinders

Yesterday's prompt was to re-write an alternative version of the Cinderella story.  This is an excerpt, although I have still to write the beginning and ending, but hopefully it gives a flavour of the setting and likely outcome.

Twisted Cinders

Cinders stepped out of the pink Mercedes, Buttons in a pink chauffeur suit holding the door open.  The fairy godmother’s choice of outfit was not really to Cinders’ liking.  A sensible trouser suit in a neutral or pastel colour would have been preferable, but she wore the flowing white evening gown with the white high heels to humour her.  She’d obviously been in too many fairy tales!  Cinders’ elder sisters, Esmeralda and Tabitha had already arrived and were enthusiastically devouring the canapés and imbibing the free drinks on offer.  Prince Charming was stood at the top of the steps welcoming his guests.  He wore a bright blue tuxedo, white shirt with a large yellow bow tie.

‘What a jerk,’ thought Cinders.

His false smile, deceptive eyes and brilliant white teeth made her want to puke.  He shook her hand and tried to kiss her on the cheek; she turned her head away from his garlic smelling breath.  His hand was cold and sticky.

‘A typical man,’ she thought.

A waiter in shiny black trousers and a crisp white shirt offered her a glass of sparkling pink champagne from the silver tray he was carrying.  Cinders had never tasted alcohol, the bubbles went straight up her nose, causing her to almost sneeze and giggle at the same time.  Such a strange sensation; she tried it again. It tasted so good, giving her a warm feeling inside; she sought out another waiter for a second glass.On the stage, a long haired trio of denim clad musicians were plugging in guitars, tuning up and generally messing about.  The drummer constantly thumping his bass drum and tinkling his cymbals.  Cinders circulated sipping her second drink slower, the inner warm glow releasing her inhibitions.  She’d heard that Prince Charming’s younger sister Princess Delightful was making her first appearance at the ball now that she had turned eighteen.  By the stage she saw her, a slender youthful body, beautiful raven hair falling in ringlets over her naked shoulders.  A figure hugging sky blue dress with sparkling sequins on the bodice.  Standing there politely holding her glass, very nervous and shy.Feeling flushed with champagne, the alcohol coursing through her veins Cinders meandered across the ballroom towards the young princess.

‘Excuse me, are you Princess Delightful?’

‘Yes, I am.  What is your name?

‘My name is Cinderella, but you can call me Cinders, everyone else does.’

‘Have you been to the ball before, Cinders?’

‘No, this is my first time too.  It’s exciting, isn’t it?’

‘Can we find somewhere to sit down and talk?  It’s so lonely here in the palace.’

‘I’d love to, that would be cool. I have to leave by midnight though.’

‘That’s OK Cinders, Mama says I have to be in bed by twelve too.’


  1. This is a great take on the story! Can't wait to see it completed!

  2. Thanks, I was pleased with it. It's the first time I've started a story in the middle. I've a good idea of the ending, but less about the beginning. But that's what makes it exciting.